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PAPERCITY PROMOTION The parents who end up surprised by a judge's orders are rarely the ones you'd expect ... And many of them genuinely don't believe they have a drinking problem. — Elisa Reiter M ost people assume family court only steps in when there's a DUI, an arrest, or a criminal charge. In reality, judges have a surprisingly sophisticated toolbox for addressing alcohol and drug concerns long before they rise to that level. Family law attorney Elisa Reiter of Calabrese Budner has spent more than 30 years helping families navigate divorce and custody disputes. If there's one thing she's learned, it's this: "The parents who end up surprised by a judge's orders are rarely the ones you'd expect." Most aren't career criminals or people struggling to survive. They're executives. Business owners. Stay-at-home parents. The neighbors you see at football games, charity galas, wine dinners, and backyard cookouts. "And many of them genuinely don't believe they have a drinking problem," Reiter says. One client insisted she was simply a social drinker. "I never drink around my kids," she told Reiter. "I have wine with friends like everyone else." She believed that. As the custody case unfolded, however, the evidence painted a different picture. Friends described evenings where one or two glasses regularly became five In Family Court, Absolutely! Can a Judge Order You Not to Drink? Cocktails, Custody, and the Courtroom or six. Text messages, photographs, and witness accounts painted a pattern of impaired judgment that raised concerns about the children's safety. None of it was criminal. There were no arrests. No DUIs. No dramatic headlines. But family court isn't deciding whether someone has committed a crime. It's deciding whether children are safe. "The question isn't whether someone drinks," Reiter says. "It's whether alcohol affects parenting." Many parents are surprised to learn those aren't the same thing. Family Court Looks Different Than Criminal Court Most people assume if no one has been arrested, there's no legal issue. Family courts operate under a different standard. Judges aren't determining guilt beyond a reasonable doubt; they're making decisions about children based on safety, judgment, and the child's best interests. Family courts look for patterns: repeated intoxication, poor judgment, missed exchanges, forgotten school events, or driving after "just a couple glasses of wine." None may be criminal alone, but together they can lead a judge to take a much closer look. That's where technology comes in. 132