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not just legal or financial, but also emotional and relational. We work to provide resources so clients can address all these issues and begin the healing process during the divorce. In our experience, additional support helps clients reach better outcomes because they are in the right frame of mind to make important decisions about their future." Using emotional intelligence as its guide, the firm cautions clients against making decisions that are driven by emotion. Calabrese explains, "We coach clients on how to employ emotional intelligence tools in their conversations and interactions with their spouses during the divorce. This elevates the conversation and sets the framework for a more productive future relationship, especially with children involved." Studies show that at least 95 percent of divorces settle outside of a trial at the courthouse — meaning the question isn't whether but how the settlement will happen. With Emotionally Intelligent Divorce ® , Calabrese Budner acknowledges that divorce clients are humans whose needs must be addressed in order to navigate through difficult decisions and move forward to a better future. F o r m o r e a d v i c e a n d t o book an appointment, visit PAPERCITY ADVERTORIAL them. In the worst situations, they don't even ask if their client desires that strategy — it's automatically deployed. Spouses may find themselves in extreme high-conflict divorces because the legal system doesn't provide space for win-win outcomes that focus on the relational aspect of their legal problems. Calabrese Budner lawyers understand the reality that divorce clients have not only legal and financial needs but also relational and nonmaterial needs, such as: • Safety: A sense of security, of relaxed ease, and freedom from physical and emotional harm. • Autonomy: A sense of agency, power, freedom, empowerment, finding and using one's voice. • Acknowledgment: Recognition or favorable notice of an act, achievement, or contribution. • Respect: A sense of due regard for one's feelings, wishes, rights, and traditions. • Acceptance: A need to be seen and known for who we are by another. Calabrese Budner finds that attending to these nonmaterial needs can be the linchpin to a successful outcome for its clients. Without emotional intelligence as a compass, it's easy for even the most well-intentioned lawyers to slip from problem-solving approaches to a combative mindset, where a client's relational needs are almost impossible to attain. Budner says, "Clients need our help in solving issues that are Collaborative Divorce is the quintessential process for informed clients who value privacy, dignity, and the ability to make their own decisions about the future. Because both spouses must agree to use the Collaborative Divorce process, that choice is not always available. Even in litigation, Calabrese Budner promotes an evolved approach that utilizes Collaborative Divorce tools. What Is an Emotionally Intelligent Divorce ® ? Divorce is an emotional-laden process second only to death of a spouse in its devastating impact. We know that copious amounts of stress, anger, loss, fear, and sadness negatively affect our minds and bodies. It's a scientific fact that emotions precede thought. When emotions run high, they change the way our brain functions. We experience diminished cognitive abilities, decision- making powers, and even interpersonal skills. Despite this reality, most family law firms address only the legal aspects and ignore their clients' relational needs as well as the emotional roller coaster that often drives decisions and the course of family law matters. Not Calabrese Budner. The firm has a growth mindset from top to bottom. All attorneys — even litigators — are trained in Collaborative Divorce. All employees participate in coaching to improve emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and interpersonal communication skills. It's become the shared office language as team members dive deeper to understand and make conscious the power of respectful communication, creative problem-solving, and self- control. These fundamental tools form the foundation for practicing Emotionally Intelligent Lawyering ® , the foundational underpinning for the firm's mission to provide Emotionally Intelligent Divorce ® to its clients. Benefits of Emotionally Intelligent Divorce ® Family lawyers not fluent in emotional intelligence often default to a well-worn roadmap that stirs the pot and incites conflict. They may become triggered and create problems instead of solving 185

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